I read the news today, oh boy

Middle England says: Why can’t they just stop people doing nasty things? No, really – why not?

Under the new laws, the owners of hedges that are more than two metres tall can be fined up to £1,000 by their local authority if they refuse to cut them down.

The only problem is that some councils will charge those who complain about their neighbour’s hedges a fee of up to £550 to investigate and rule on the matter. One protest group has described the charges as “deplorable”.

“If I throw a brick through your window, when the police come, they don’t charge you a fee, do they?” said Clare Hinchliffe, a spokeswoman for Hedgeline, which lobbies on behalf of victims of high hedges.

The police say: We shoot to kill and we don’t care who knows it

Ball-bearing guns used by children could be banned after a string of
cases involving serious injuries.

The pistols, which fire plastic pellets, are not classed as firearms
because they are considered too low-powered to be fatal.

But the death of two-year-old Andrew Morton after being shot in the head with an airgun in Glasgow earlier this year prompted safety concerns. Police officers have also warned that teenagers carrying them may be mistaken for armed criminals and shot by marksmen.

A Guardian reader says: This really doesn’t make any sense, does it?

So the police will have the right to stop me in the street to check my ID card. If I don’t have the card, I may be required to present it at the station at a later date, as drivers may be required to present their documents. If I fail to comply, how can the police prove it was me they asked? If they can prove it was me, what’s the point of the card?
– Dave Forbes, Widnes

Vegans say: Why can’t everyone else be like us? No, really – why not?

Vegans branded the event “unethical” and said the cheese should be replaced with a non-dairy alternative.

Yvonne Taylor, chair of the animal rights campaign group Peta, said: “It’s just not fair that vegans cannot enjoy the fun of the cheese rolling contest.”

lobbies on behalf of victims of high hedges

mistaken for armed criminals and shot

It’s just not fair.

Petulant self-righteousness, meet unaccountable authority. You’ll get on well together.

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2 Comments

  1. Meaders
    Posted 1 June 2005 at 16:31 | Permalink | Reply

    “…Hedgeline, which lobbies on behalf of victims of high hedges.”

    Aiiieeee!

  2. Jarndyce
    Posted 1 June 2005 at 17:55 | Permalink | Reply

    You mean you got through all that reading and nary a puff from Mr Brennan? He’s slipping…

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